„He who get laid with stomach stuffed with cold pork jelly soaked in vinegar and with dried grinded hot pepper on top – he dreams a science-fictional dreams. He who got laid in bed hungry... he dreamt pork jelly“, Dusan Radovic

Sunday morning, may 20th, 2007

If mornings, after a night spent with my wife in a bar, are goin’ to begun with dreams like this, I swear that I'm going to take my wife out in night life more often! This dream I am talkin’ about, really happened, and word by word it is the whole truth...

No one else came to my dream, but – with gray hair, mustaches... in flesh and bones Frank Zappa, himself! Scene: interior, typical American high school hallway with lockers on both sides. I was surprised, fuck it! Frank Zappa is here, and he smiles... and we started the conversation, you know...

Anyway, I said to him:

ME:Frank, buddy...I got some kind of quasi-blues band. We are very motivated to play together but, I'm afraid we are not good enough... Audience in those days isn't exactlly filled with blues-lovers. Our sound is giving us very hard times, more gray hair and ulcers...we might even strangle to death some real blues fan with boredome...and, beside all that, they are rarely hiring us to play...so I was goin' to ask you – do you have any practical advice to give?

And Zappa start talking, in pure Serbian, of course:

FZ: Look it this way – don’t be worried about the sound! Sooner or later, you will begin to sound properly – or you’ll become widely recognized by your awfull sound, so – it will be good in any way. If you’re motivated to play the music, there is always going to be enough motivated audience who would listen you. The most important thing is to have a lot of good fun. If audience likes you that way – it’s good, and if they don’t – don't worry and just leave your private parts (including your balls) jingling away to show how much you care for the oppinion of an audience… Pleasure of playin’ is important…If some commercial success doesn't come eventually - I think that Japanese "Kabuki" Theatre or artistic mime performances would be a good alternative for securing a some kind of profit and an artistic identity!

ME: Jeez, Frank, it would be great if you could somehow perform with us...but there is just that little problem you got...

FZ: What problem?

ME: Well, the problem is that you're dead!

FZ: Ha-ha, I really am, ha-ha !

And so we laughed, Frank Zappa & me. In that very moment I woke up. While I was drinking my first coffee – I told my wife everything about the dream. If it wasn’t told, now I would be writing about something completely different... And advices? Well, my band mates are already suggested me to visit certain facilities for rehabilitation of fruitcakes, or to make an appointment with some psychologist...Nevertheless, although band colleagues eventually begun to trust me about this conversation with Frank, I’ll be passing this Frank’s advices from time to time – and someday it will bring some ideas to those bums from the band...

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